Lilianne Fuller

I was born and brought up in the Roman Catholic faith, but for the most part going to church was mostly just going through the motions. Once I turned 18, I gave up on church, except for the social aspects. Church was a great place to meet boys.

So, over the years, I didn’t give much thought to God and His rules and just kind of lived my life without religion. I crossed a lot of lines and finally I crossed one that went much too far. I was consumed by guilt. I felt I was dying inside and there was nothing I could do to fix that. So one day, I decided to go to confession. I phoned the Catholic church to find out what their confessionals hours were and one October evening I drove to Langley and went to the church. The lights were on and I parked my car in the lot. I went to the front door and walked into the foyer. Imagine my dismay when I found the doors to the main church were locked. But I decided then and there that I needed to confess whether there was a priest there or not. I went to my knees and spoke my confession. I started to cry as the enormity of what I had done became clearer to me. I sobbed and sobbed. And then, all of a sudden, came a presence. I am convinced that it was my Lord Jesus. I felt His arms wrap around me and I felt a huge wave of forgiveness wash over me. I was forgiven. I was loved. I could make a new start.

That December, I saw an ad for the Salvation Army’s Christmas Eve service. Topher and I attended. The message was brief. The Pastor told us about a gift under our “spiritual tree.” That gift was forgiveness and it was available to anyone who accepted the gift. It was a real affirmation of what I felt in that church foyer a couple of months earlier. That was the beginning of my 29 year walk with Christ.

I started to attend church and Bible studies regularly. In my early beginnings, I attended the Salvation Army Church and after many years the congregation dispersed, so I attended an Evangelical church. When we moved to Langley City, I began attending Home Church Langley. It is here that I think I have experienced the most growth. It was here that I was baptized and I love that we celebrate Communion. I guess I can sum up my faith this way: Love God; help people. I’ve always been a fan of practical Christianity. I read the Bible pretty much every day and I also try to spend time in prayer, daily.

The darkest part of my life was when I had a nervous breakdown. It was the closest Topher and I came to the end of our marriage. I will not elaborate but what saved us was a God-send. Topher volunteered to go to England to work on the “Foot and Mouth Disease outbreak.” We were apart for three months, so he didn’t see the mess I would become! And that is a blessing.

When he returned, I was ready to leave the half-way house and the first thing I did was to get off the cocktail of psychosomatic drugs that were mis-prescribed. That was really hard. What was even worse was having Topher recount some of my behavior prior to his leaving for England. He told me that he could support me with physical issues, like my back problem but if I had another nervous breakdown, we were through. You can bet that I practise good self-care every day! I still have struggles with depression, but I am very thankful that the episodes are very few and very far apart. Praise God!

I guess I would like to say that this is the end of my story. I wish I could say, "and then I lived happily ever after.” The End." But I would be remiss if I did that. Many years have gone by since that first encounter.

Because of a skidoo accident I had as a teenager, I have had back issues all my life. This caused me a lot of struggles and caused me to be addicted to pain killers right up until 2002 when God intervened and I was selected for experimental surgery. And the rest, as they say, is history. Physical problems can turn to mental problems and prior to my being accepted into the St. Paul’s Pain clinic, I suffered a nervous breakdown as a result of both the pain and the painkillers. I spent some time in a recovery house. It was awful. Topher and I went through it all. And I can safely say, Jesus was at our side.

I started attending Home Church Langley in 2009 and feel this is my home and the people of Home Church are my family.

I have recently been diagnosed with Polymyalgia Rheumatica or PMR. Without corticosteroids it is very debilitating and disabling. But God is with me through this and I have joy. I have a wonderful life and I have been truly blessed. I am thankful for my Lord Jesus who has given me an abundant life, just as He promised. And I am thankful for Topher, who makes me laugh every day.